Patricia

I'd had enough of the violence. Mainstay showed me it was possible to live on my own.

Patricia had an abusive husband with a drug addiction. She says that when he was doing drugs, he would seem happy but they would not have the money they needed to support themselves. They had been evicted 5 or 6 times from different locations and were living in a tent in an Asheville campground when the owner came to them and told them to leave. It was then she learned he had not paid in two weeks and had not been working. They moved back in with his parents.

Each time the cycle started over the abuse got worse. He would choke her from behind to the point of losing consciousness. She came to the realization that the cycle would not end and decided she had enough.

She recalls that once someone had mentioned to her that 'her boys would be just like him'. She thought to herself – they were right and she couldn't let that happen. Her husband controlled everything from money to friends and told her she could never make it without him. She did research and learned that it was possible to do it on her own with the help of resources. She did not know what she was going to do but she was not going back to the lies and the hurting.

She packed up what she and her two boys needed and borrowed his father's car to leave. She left with $100 for food and gas. Patricia, being raised in foster care, did not have family to go to and they stayed in a hotel until she was able to locate a shelter to go to.

Patricia, at the age of 34 was living in a homeless shelter. A volunteer at the shelter asked her about her situation and suggested that she call Mainstay since she had a domestic violence background.

She says that Mainstay was the first shelter to give her guidance in utilizing resources and taking the steps to become self-sufficient. "They are like the telephone operators being able to connect so many lines; they know Hendersonville and are able to connect you with the right resources.

Other shelters are just a place to sleep; Mainstay is supportive and helps you to no longer be stuck in a situation that you end up going back. The staff at Mainstay always has an open door and is ready to listen. They are compassionate and caring and let my kids know that there are good people in the world and there are healthy relationships."

While at Mainstay, Patricia found out that she was pregnant. She had lost a child at 3 ½ months after her husband had beaten her up. Her new baby is a godsend and was perfect timing as it really helped her and her boys heal faster. They were able to focus on a new place and a new life.

She had basically left with nothing and had to do everything to achieve independence. Her records were in South Carolina, the family needed clothes, food, daycare, and transportation. Mainstay helped her obtain what she needed with the use of a phone, fax, vouchers and bus tickets. She received therapy and attended parenting classes. She needed legal support, Mainstay's court advocate assisted her and Pisgah Legal Services paid for her divorce and custody fees. She purchased a car for $1 from a lady at one of the local churches. She applied for Section 8 housing and was able to move out on her own.