MAINSTAY, Inc. Working Against Family Violence In Henderson County
If You Are In Immediate Danger, Call 911 !
We have 911 enabled cell phones available, at no cost, for those who need them.
Are You Being Abused, OR At Risk For Abuse?
If the following traits sound like your partner, beware.
These indicate a strong potential
for abuse in your relationship.
Does your partner blame others for their problems ?
Does your partner try to isolate you from family and friends ?
Is your partner unusually jealous ?
Does your partner make all the decisions, tell you what to wear or who you can talk to ?
Has your partner pushed, shoved, pinched, or bitten you ?
Does your partner use any force during an argument ?
Does your partner use force during sex ?
Does your partner abuse alcohol or drugs ?
Does your partner have a history of bad relationships, and blames the other person for all the problems ?
Does your partner call you names, put you down, or make belittling remarks about you ?
Is your partner cruel to or does your partner harshly treat animals or children ?
Does your partner blame others for their feelings ?
Is your partner hypersensitive ?
Does your partner believe in rigid sex roles ?
Has your partner threatened violence ?
Does your partner have a history of battering or abuse ?
Does your partner throw things, hit walls, break objects ?
Has your family or friends warned you about this person, or have they expressed concern for your safety ?
If you answered yes to three or more of these questions, you could be in danger in the future. Without effective intervention, abuse can and usually does escalate in severity. Sometimes abuse leads to homicide. If you believe you could be in danger, please call Mainstay at 693-3840. We can guide you to the options that are right for you and your situation.
Things To Do If You Are Leaving The Relationship
Get copies of needed records(birth certificates, shot records, social security cards, marriage license, etc.)
Go to Health Department, or Blue Ridge Health to sign up for WIC.
See an attorney.
Think about explaining your situation to your child's teacher/counselor.
Get clothes/possessions from old home.
Sign up for Housing Assistance (HHA, WCCA Section 8.)
Get household things for your new home.
Get deposit money (power, deposit for rent...)
Get a ride to work or school.
Make baby-sitting/daycare arrangements.
Look for a job.
Take out warrant.
Check on your court date.
Discuss your case with option coordinator.
Get kids enrolled in school.
Arrange transportation to school for children.
Go to Social Services for Work First Family Assistance check / food stamps / medicaid.
Look for a place to live.
Make arrangements for moving (boxes, trucks, muscles, people.)
PLEASE, if you have questions, need some help, or just want to talk — come to our office — that's why we're here.
Things To Do If You Are Going Back To The Relationship
If your abuser claims to want to help, know the options and understand you can not change anyone else.
Continue crisis/support group if you can.
Remember that you are NOT responsible for the violence.
Make a safety plan.
Know where important papers (birth certificates, shot records, social security cards, marriage license, etc.) are, and get copies if possible.
Do not isolate yourself. Make daily contact with someone else.
Pay attention to changes in your partner's moods, and trust what you feel
Make up your mind ahead of time how much you will put up with and stick to that.
When you think things are building up, make plans to get the children and yourself to a safe place.
Think about option counseling if you can.
Research shows violent behavior does not change without outside help.
The shelter was a safe place for you when you needed it. Remember that we are here.
Stash away some money.
Know medical insurance information.
Know your abuser's social security number.
Know phone numbers (or write them somewhere) you might need for emergencies.
Make arrangements to leave before you get hurt.
Have an extra set of car keys made and hide them somewhere for use in an emergency.
Get a valid North Carolina ID card and carry it with you
Stash away a small pack of emergency clothes.
